The Iron Fist in the Velvet Glove

For decades, young women around the world dreamed of being Elvis Presley’s Chosen One: his bride, walking by his side, forever in love. In her 1985 memoir Elvis and Me Priscilla Beaulieu Presley showed how that particular dream wasn’t all it was cracked up to be; life as Mrs. Elvis Presley was less a fantasy and more like living in a gilded cage. And, even though Priscilla divorced Elvis in 1973, his influence over her life remained. Though her latest memoir is entitled Softly, as I Leave You: Life After Elvis (written with Mary Jane Ross), the book makes it clear that even post-marriage there was no aspect of her life that wasn’t touched by the lingering presence of the King.

Softly, As I Leave You: Life After Elvis   

By Priscilla Presley written with Mary Jane Ross

Grand Central Publishing; 320 pages

And whether intended or not, the book also serves as a response to daughter Lisa Marie Presley’s searing memoir, From Here to the Great Unknown, published last year (drawn from Lisa Marie’s recorded memories, with additional commentary from her own daughter, Riley Keough). In that book, Lisa Marie cites Priscilla’s “chilly disposition,” how she heard that her mother wished for a miscarriage when she was pregnant with Lisa Marie, and her unhappiness at having to live with Priscilla fulltime after her father’s death in 1977: “It was a one-two punch: He’s dead and now I’m stuck with her.” Most damningly, she wrote that her mother’s boyfriend, Michael Edwards, physically and sexually abused her, and that her mother’s response was minimal.

Ouch. Clearly, some clean-up was in order. Priscilla concedes (as she did in her first memoir) that she did consider ending her pregnancy. And that her relationship with her daughter during Lisa Marie’s teenage years was “complicated and challenging.” As far as Michael Edwards is concerned, Priscilla says that Lisa Marie told her of just one incident where Edwards came into her room to look at her while she was sleeping, and that Priscilla eventually forced him to move out of their home afterwards. The accounts don’t reconcile. “I struggle to make peace with Lisa’s words,” she writes. “I know I will never have closure.”

It’s an example of how Priscilla is forever caught between two worlds; as she observes, “I walk forward even when my mind turns toward the past.” For despite her post-divorce endeavors — TV and film appearances (Dallas, The Naked Gun series), her product endorsements (perfume, bed linens), her activism on behalf of animals — she’s never shaken off her primary role as the only woman who was married to Elvis.

That role led her to taking on the job of guarding his legacy; as she puts it, “One of my most important objectives: to show people who Elvis really was.” But it’s a soft-focused look at that legacy. What Lisa Marie described as her mother’s “chilly disposition” comes across here as a cool restraint, as she downplays any hint of discord. She takes the time to revisit a scene from her first memoir, when Elvis had aggressive sex with her during the period when their marriage was falling apart to clarify that it wasn’t marital rape: “Elvis made love to me forcefully, not forcibly” (emphasis Priscilla’s).

Again rewriting her history, she writes of having a “fairytale wedding,” whereas in Elvis and Me she described it as rushed (“If we had it to do over again, we would’ve given ourselves more time.” ). There’s no mention of the lawsuit between the estate and Elvis’ manager, Colonel Tom Parker, after the deaths of Elvis and his father Vernon (Priscilla was involved as Lisa Marie’s guardian; after Vernon’s death, Lisa Marie was the sole surviving beneficiary). In Priscilla’s account, Parker, while admittedly a “complicated man,” still “loved Elvis like a son,” and was a “tender and devoted” husband (who nonetheless cheated on his first wife when her health began to fail). Where Lisa Marie might’ve gone for the jugular, Priscilla is content to draw a veil over the less salubrious details of her life experience.

She’s also selective in her memories. In discussing Priscilla, the 2023 film Sofia Coppola directed (and Priscilla executive produced) based on Elvis and Me, she says “It had never occurred to me that someone would want to make a film about me.” Saying that, she completely overlooks having previously executive produced a TV mini-series based on the same book, which aired in 1988 (briefly reviewed here). Perhaps she’s making a distinction between television and feature films. Or maybe, as she elsewhere admits, “I’ve learned that my mind simply refuses to remember certain things.” But here was a chance for her to stretch out and make some qualitative judgments; what were her feelings about the two films? Why did she feel the need to make a second one? It’s at points like this that you’re left feeling there’s more Priscilla could share, if she’d only open up a bit more.

There is one area where she does let her emotional guard down; discussing her family’s personal tragedies. Both Lisa Marie and Priscilla’s son, Navarone Garibaldi, had serious substance abuse problems. Her grandson, Ben Keough, died by suicide in 2020. Lisa Marie herself died in 2023 due to complications from bariatric surgery. Priscilla’s descriptions of her son’s two detoxes from heroin and fentanyl addiction are harrowing: “Nightmare doesn’t begin to describe the agony of the experience.”

Ben’s death had a particularly devastating effect on Lisa Marie, and Priscilla’s sorrow at seeing her daughter sink into depression is palpable, a sadness further compounded by the shattering loss of Lisa Marie a few years later. No wonder she’s blocked out memories of the moment when her daughter’s life support was shut off: “I don’t remember falling … After that, everything went dark. I can’t remember. I don’t want to remember.”

Priscilla’s memoir has a tendency to lapse into platitudes, such as “Life is about beginnings and endings.” But a closer reading also reveals that this is a woman with a resolve and inner strength that’s surpassed those around her, including Elvis. It was at her instigation that Graceland was turned into a tourist attraction (attorneys had advised her to sell it, due to maintenance costs), making it the cornerstone of a multimillion dollar empire. Since divorcing her husband, she’s been constantly involved in one project or another, along with time spent promoting Elvis’ legacy (in addition to The Searcher, she’s produced numerous Elvis-related film and record releases, and is a regular at the annual Elvis Week festivities held in Memphis every August). And she’s endured a series of personal losses that would’ve broken other people. But her determination never falters: “I choose to focus on what remains.”

The first word in the title of this book might be “softly,” but don’t be fooled into thinking that Priscilla is a soft touch. However delicate she is in relating her story, make no mistake: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley is a survivor. And that’s not the kind of person you underestimate.