Revert to the ‘Mean’

If, like Renee Rapp, you were only three years old when it came out, you might not know that Mean Girls was a massive hit in 2004. The world lauded Tina Fey for her adaptation of Rosalind Wiseman’s non-fiction book Queen Bees and Wannabes. The movie was funny, female-focused, and had an incredible cast of popular teen stars, SNL alums, and Rachel McAdams. I was 22 when Mean Girls came out and vividly recall purchasing it at Target along with an Ashlee Simpson album I asked for a gift receipt, pretending neither purchase was for me. But they both definitely were, and I’d do it again.

MEAN GIRLS ★★ (2/5 stars)
Directed by: Samantha Jayne, Arturo Perez, Jr.
Written by: Tina Fey
Starring: Angourie Rice, Reneé Rapp, Auli’i Cravalho, Jaquel Spivey, Avantinka, Bebe Wood
Running time: 127 mins

I really enjoyed the movie, obviously enough to spend pride and hard-earned money on the DVD. I watched it again before going to see the musical remake that’s now in theaters. While the 2004 release doesn’t completely hold up 20 years later, given the bizarre pockets of racism and casual attitude toward grooming underage girls, it still felt fresh to me. I’m an elder millennial, so take that with a grain of Himalayan sea salt. The musical film is an adaptation of the stage musical, which is an adaptation of the movie, which is an adaptation of a book.

I have to pause and confess here that I dream of writing something that has such a wide and strong impact on society as the book and film have done. It’s possible I am a bitter, jealous hater. However, this film musical adaptation felt like it was wringing the last bit of currency out of an old, dusty cash register.

It’s not the cast’s fault. It’s not the composer’s fault. It just…is. I personally haven’t seen the stage show, but live performances of the numbers must add a lot of excitement that simply isn’t present in the film. Picture the original Mean Girls, only longer and with songs that are kind of unnecessary and don’t really move the plot forward. They’re fun songs, and the performances are good, but overall I could stand to have the extra 30 or so minutes back in my life.

Renee Rapp, who plays Regina George, is obviously a big talent, but my personal favorite was Avantika Vandanapu as Karen. Vandanapu’s facial expressions alone are better than the songs in the movie. Her performance of “Sexy”, about dressing to impress on Halloween, was the best in the film. Angourie Rice turned in a solid performance as usual, in Lindsay Lohan’s former role of Cady, but I enjoyed her more in Honor Society (which is also a film about high school politics, but better than this). Bebe Wood as Gretchen was very sweet and endearing, but they took away some of the funniest aspects of her character in favor of a storyline about confidence. It’s a good idea in theory, but a bit half-finished in execution.

Other changes to make the script perhaps more progressive included more diverse casting, which is great! Janis is also an actual lesbian (which leaves poor Kevin G without a date, and me wishing he had one and that the date was Damian). Regina calls herself a fugly cow rather than a fugly slut, because I guess fat-shaming is more progressive than slut-shaming? (It’s not).

Other cute changes include certain couple being married and a cameo from Lindsay Lohan as the mathlete contest host. However, unless you’re a die-hard Mean Girls fan desperate for any shred of content surrounding this property, you can probably wait to see the musical movie version until it’s streaming. It was actually supposed to be a streaming-only release, but I heard that Gretchen Wieners’s dad, the inventor of toaster strudel, paid extra to have it get a theatrical release.