Cosmo Kramer Unmasked

Michael Richards played one of television’s funniest characters, Seinfeld’s Cosmo Kramer, Jerry’s off-the-wall, lovable neighbor. Now, Richards has published his memoir, Entrances and Exits. No surprise, it’s a must read for Seinfeld-heads. As a casual viewer of the show, I found it riveting. Richards has a very compelling story, and he tells it thoughtfully with great feeling, warts, tears and all. And yes, he addresses his regrettable meltdown at the Laugh Factory in detail.

Michael Richards almost never came to be. His mother planned to abort him in Mexico, but her chaperone died before she could. Next, she found a family to adopt, but she got cold feet and took Michael home, where he lived with her and her parents. It wasn’t an idyllic existence. Michael’s grandfather, the sole man in his life, passed away early on. Sadly, his grandmother was losing her mind, often wandering the streets. Michael’s mere presence, however, did slow her descent. He recalls her embracing him as his grandfather implored her to “live for the boy!” It’s intense, powerful stuff.

After his grandmother was committed, Michael was mostly on his own, living through television and wandering the hills near his home in Los Angeles. His mother worked a lot, and his father wasn’t in the picture. When Michael questions his mother about his father’s absence, she’s evasive. Michael spends hours pondering his father. Who is my father? Is he alive? If he’s dead, how did he die? The mystery of Michael’s father is the thread that keeps the pages turning for a chunk of the book, so I won’t reveal the answer here. However, I will say that it’s incredibly poignant and explains so much about Michael, including what happened that terrible night at the Laugh Factory.

Somehow, early on, Michael finds comedy. It allows him, a self-proclaimed introvert, to connect with his peers. Eventually, he performs weird, sometimes cringe-worthy comedy bits with Ed Begley Jr. at the Troubador, the well-known Hollywood nightclub. He acts in plays too. It’s inevitable: performing is his future.

But then life takes an unexpected, Kramer-esque turn.

Michael is drafted into the Army. He trains to be a medic, but he winds up in the army’s traveling theater troupe. Incredibly, the army allows him “to play” a colonel all the time to help him get into character. Think Donald Sutherland (RIP) in The Dirty Dozen. Yes, it’s all very Kramer, pre-Kramer.

After an honorable discharge, Michael returns to comedy, specifically stand-up, but it’s not a great fit. Michael prefers playing characters, and his rage, something he struggles with, manifests itself on stage. At one point, he lights himself on fire mid-performance. Fortunately, Jay Leno douses him. Robin Williams recommends therapy to deal with his family issues. Meanwhile, Sam Kinison, the comedian who clears out the room with his caustic schtick, sees a kindred spirit.

After a stint on Fridays, a late-night sketch comedy show with Larry David, Michael wins the Kramer role and immerses himself completely. As far as inside Seinfeld tidbits, Entrances and Exits doesn’t disappoint, but it didn’t blow me away either. Making hilarious television is a grind and is not nearly as funny as the actual performances. Michael’s best, funniest television story, my opinion, happens during a guest spot on Miami Vice. It involves jet lag and too much Cuban coffee. An ambulance is summoned. Don Johnson is apoplectic. It’s all very Kramer. Where does Michael Richards end and Kramer begin is one hell of a question.

During Seinfeld’s heyday, Michael occasionally makes the Hollywood rounds, but he never feels comfortable doing it. At a Billy Crystal party, Michael feels particularly awkward and jumps into the pool fully clothed and stays underwater for over a minute. Kramer is a wonderful, lucrative character for Michael, but it’s also a mask to hide his insecurities.

After Seinfeld, some writers rush him into The Michael Richards Show. With that name, how can it not flop? While The Michael Richards Show is terrible television, it makes wonderful reading. After a chance meeting with George Carlin, Michael is inspired to return to stand-up. He’s progressing, but then a heckler tells Michael that he’s not funny during a late-night set, and it triggers all his insecurities, as well as his rage. Michael attacks, using the N-word.

CUT TO BLACK.

It has been 18 years since Michael Richards exploded at the Laugh Factory and went viral. He has apologized… and disappeared. He has gone on spiritual retreats abroad. (Even before the Laugh Factory fiasco, Michael was a spiritual, philosophical man, and he spends ample time discussing these thoughts in the book.) Michael remarries. Michael lives in New York City, by chance in Jerry’s neighborhood. He conquers The Big C. Now, finally, Michael has removed the Cosmo Kramer mask and told his story, as well as his many of his innermost thoughts. It’s no joke.