‘Hot Frosty’ Leads this Year’s Holiday Movie Avalanche

The gift of holiday-themed movies continues to grow, including one this year called ‘Hot Frosty’, and this holiday season is no exception. Back in my day, we had to make do with continuous repeats of A Christmas Story on loop for 48 hours. That film, popular though it may be, does not hold up to repeated viewings on this scale. Yes, I hate that movie, which is the correct opinion.

Thankfully, the CEOs of Christmas Present have made it so we don’t have to suffer any longer. The original holiday film destination, Hallmark, is still the reigning champ with 40 completely new movies or series debuting across Hallmark and the Hallmark Mystery Channel. I’m particularly looking forward to offerings starring Lacey Chabert, Tyler Hynes, and Joey McIntyre (sadly, not together).

Even better, instead of fighting with Netflix over their own holiday lineup, Hallmark is choosing to cooperate in the spirit of Christmas by adding 10 fan-favorite films to the streamer. They include two of my personal favorites, Haul Out the Holly and Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up. The wacky neighbors and their over-the-top approach to holiday decorations, borderline HOA violation kink, and Melissa Peterman especially make these two a fun pairing.

Hallmark movies are famously family-friendly, and the network has been making strides to become more inclusive, featuring multiple gay couples and storylines along with more racial diversity on screen. They’re small strides, but in a positive direction. Disappointingly, Hallmark has only scheduled one new Hanukkah offering this holiday season. I’ve really enjoyed the Hanukkah films in the past, with Eight Gifts of Hanukkah standing out as a personal favorite. With both holidays falling on December 25 this year, it seems like a huge missed opportunity to include more of them in the 2024 countdown.

For those looking for spicier entertainment, it appears Netflix is ready to add a punch of flavor to your mulled wine with four new offerings this holiday season.

They include:

Hot Frosty: While this title sounds like it could be a holiday-themed sex act, it’s actually a movie starring Lacey Chabert and Dustin Milligan. He is a hot snowman who comes to life when she places a scarf on him, and she is the woman who is like “hmm what should I do about this hunky snowman?” People are calling this movie a “comeback” for Lacey, but how is it a comeback when you’ve been consistently booked and busy for the last decade and a half on Hallmark? Excited for this beauty and himbo pairing.

Meet Me Next Christmas: Holiday movie veteran, beignet baker, and singer Christina Milian stars in this film about finding romance and tickets to a holiday Pentatonix concert. Clearly, this is sponsored by both the concept of scarcity and Pentatonix, but who cares? Milian stars in two entirely separate holiday films about being trapped in a snowglobe. I think she can make anything believable, even the idea that everyone’s dying to see a Pentatonix Christmas Eve concert in 2024.

The Merry Gentlemen: Britt Robertson and Chad Michael-Murray star in this film, which appears to be a combination of Magic Mike (2012)  and Desperately Seeking Santa (2011). I like to think that the writer of this film watched both in the same evening and had an incredible dream that became this script. Would I hoot, holler, and flash my tinsel at men in an all-male Christmas-themed revue? Obviously.

Our Little Secret: Two exes discover they’re dating siblings and must spend the holidays under the same roof. With Lindsay Lohan and Kristen Chenoweth, how can this go wrong? It’s absolutely gotta be way less of a bummer than the similarly themed The Family Stone, which I resent ever seeing and can never forget.

We are truly living in a golden age of television. This is what people mean when they say that, right? The little golden Hallmark crown? With this plethora of offerings, there’s absolutely zero need to support the offerings from homophobic network, Great American Family (GAF). GAF – more like gaffe as in wow so many former Hallmark stars took tons of money to sign exclusive deals with this bigoted company, what a gaffe! May they never work again, and may all of you have a wonderful New Year.