The Ridiculous Spectacle of ‘Guy Fieri’s Tournament Of Champions’

Guy Fieri’s Tournament of Champions is my favorite basic cable car crash. While yes, it’s a cavalcade of some of the elite television chefs around, Brooke Williamson’s knife skills aren’t the only things to tune in for every Sunday. (Which, if you’ve been watching for a few years, Williamson going out in the first round was a total Holy Shit Moment, but let’s be real, I don’t think she was exactly champing at the bit to do the show again, anyhow. If I had a guess, it was a favor to the Mayor of Flavor Town.)

If you’re reading this to pass the time on the can, that’s fine. The show’s premise is that every elite television chef who’s done Chopped, Guy’s Grocery Games, and Top Chef does Tournament of Champions. Granted, there are a few legit industry wild cards they throw in the mix to give any food nerd pause with an “Oh, they got them?” but really, those folks are likely testing the waters to see how they can land a show informing Middle America how to make buffalo chicken sliders. You may not get Thomas Keller or Eric Ripert, but Cat Cora and Rocco DiSprito have made their way through the competition in some form. If only Mario Batali weren’t a scumbag, he’d be a perfect judge for this show.

They set up the show like March Madness, with brackets based on recent wins. The chefs play one another against The Randomizer, a big wheel with many options for protein, etc. Whoever makes the best use of whatever fate gives the two chefs moves on. And that’s the basic premise. You win the whole thing; Guy and his pals at State Farm give the chef $150K, a WWE-style belt, and a gaudy championship ring.

Gearing up for the final four this Sunday, we’re going to see Jet Tila take on Antonia Lofaso, an elite match for the two TV protein slingers. But for my money, I gotta have Jet Tila on this one. The guy has made it to the Final Four every season. Give the man his belt.

Meanwhile, the worst nickname on earth, “The Dancing Spice Queen,” Maneet Chauhan, will take on Britt Rescigno; I’m on team Britt for this one because, like everyone else, I love a good underdog story, though she’s less and less of an underdog with every battle she dominates.

The cooking so far has been wild; the chefs continue to make the television-worthy dishes that we all love and tune into week after week. Guy Fieri does his thing, throwing out the signature one-liners and keeping the audience entertained. The whole giving everyone a nickname thing is weird, though; do we have to call Shirley Chung the “Dumpling Mafia Queen?” I’m just saying. They all get nicknames. And do they have to carry the belt contractually? That would get so exhausting.

The Tournament of Champions is fun television. The stakes are high, and chances are, so are a few of the cooks behind the scenes. If you’re looking for spectacular cooking that you’ll never see in a restaurant, give it a taste.