Don’t Wait for ‘Busboys’

I wanted to cheer for the project because it’s rare these days for a new comedy to even get made. Everything in the theater is Star Wars, Spiderman, or some zombie form of never-ending IP. So, I was ready to laugh.

Busboys ★ (1/5 stars)
Directed by: Jonah Feingold
Written by: David Spade, Theo Von
Starring: David Spade, Theo Von, Tim Dillon, Charlotte McKinney, Chris Elliott
Running time: 93 mins

Bus Boys is a nightmare. Going into the movie with a “how bad can it be?” attitude was the wrong attitude. The answer: it’s so, so, so bad.

Directed by Jonah Feingold and starring David Spade alongside Theo Von, Busboys grew out of Von and Spade’s friendship — with Spade and Von largely financing the roughly $4 million production themselves and shooting it in 23 days. Instead of going through a traditional studio, they produced and released the movie independently, putting it directly into theaters on April 17. The supporting cast is basically a comedy podcast orgy, or at least a sausage fest: Tim Dillon, Bobby Lee, Trevor Wallace, Jay Pharoah, Chris Elliott and others pop up along the way. After its theatrical and digital runs, Busboys landed on Hulu on August 14.

The plot is this: The movie opens up with Kid Rock’s “Cowboy.” And from there it’s two loser friends who can’t get their shit together. Spade has a sort-of girlfriend; she gets stolen by a waiter at a dinner where Spade is randomly burned by a “hot plate” three times. They decide to go to Mexico to start their lives over and get only as far as Arizona, where they decide to become waiters — because the guy who stole Spade’s girlfriend was a waiter. And that’s the plot. Everything that follows in Busboys is either a dick joke, a Kid Rock song, or some offensive thing that was sick in 2001. And I’m no shrinking violet; I love a good bro comedy ala Step Brothers or Superbad. But this ain’t it.

Every scene feels like a single string of jokes that try to be offensive for the sake of winning over the edge lords. These guys are well known; they have podcasts, careers, and money. How did they get a script together that feels so thin and flat that even the comedy doesn’t carry? I adore Step Brothers and the plot is absurd, but the jokes and performances carry the movie past “I’ll kill you Leonard Nimoy.”

I don’t ever write reviews with the intent of shitting on something, but my dudes, this one was bad-bad. There are A+ comedians all over this thing, and no one lands. I want comedies to be made all the time. I want to see these guys working, but you gotta call a Spade a Spade — literally. Von is a funny dude with a great career as a stand up comic, filling the big theaters and hosting a successful podcast. But that doesn’t always mean it translates to acting, and Spade is “that guy” — as he usually is — but the pacing, the dialogue, and the plot point of working to buy Von’s mother a penis are just exhausting.

Dudes, if you make any money back, hire some writers next time around.